ZOMG WE GOT HIM!!!

COREY PATTERSON IS A NATIONAL!!!!!!!! Ok, that was unneccesary. JORGE "SAMMY AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME" SOSA IS A NATIONAL!!!!! Ouch, the awful signings keep on coming. At least these are no-risk minor league signings. (EDIT-MLBTR says Sosa will earn $850k and Patterson will earn $800k. Goodness gracious, will somebody give me the dang GM job? At least I wouldn't go around signing awful players to contracts more than the league minimum).

And it looks like we lost out on the main prize of the offseason, Mark Teixeira. It will either be Nicky J/Da Meat Hook/Brad Eldred (can I just call him Breldred?) or Adam Dunn at 1B. It's ok, I'd rather have O-Dog at 2B and Adam Dunn than just Tex.

ANOTHER EDIT-the Nats signed 3 other guys to minor league deals: 

IF Jose Castillo

LHP-Gustavo Chacin

C-Gustavo Molina

And I'll put up Sosa/Patterson's BR pages too:

RHP Jorge Sosa

CF Corey Patterson

Initial thoughts: All are meh. Chacin, Sosa and Patterson have all had exactly 1 standout season (and by standout I mean OPS+ or ERA+ above 100....so really just 1 "above average" season).